


A Perfect Arrangement

by AngelOfDeath10



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, Lemon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-25 00:28:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21108500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfDeath10/pseuds/AngelOfDeath10
Summary: It's difficult for two busy people to find time for one another, but sometimes opportunity knocks in the strangest of locations.





	A Perfect Arrangement

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written near or before 2007, for the Church of Lemons on a yahoo group.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing. . . but I wish that blackrose. Miss you Blackrose!

“Wow, Heero, two years. Seriously, I don’t mind saying that you already surpassed my expectations.” Duo clapped Heero on the back as they stood in the elevator on their way down to leave the building and start their weekend. 

“I totally had a year and a half as my bet in the office pool.” Heero kept his eyes firmly fixed on the elevator door and away from the man beside him as his jaw muscles tightened.

“I’m sure Relena would be displeased to know that you all were betting on her marriage.” Again he skirted mentioning his own feelings on the topic at hand.

“Don’t you know a joke when you hear one?” Duo scratched at his head, noting how Heero was even more stiff than usual. “What’s up with you, usually you can at least tell when I’m kidding.”

Heero shuffled his feet some. “I. . . no, never mind.” It would be idiotic of him to bring up what was actually bothering him. But he had made a tactical error in even beginning to mention something to his nosy friend.

“C’mon. What’s eating you? Don’t make me guess.” Duo paused, watching numbers slowly tick down in the display above the door. “Did you forget something important, like a birthday, or some formal engagement? No, I suppose since you’re her bodyguard you’d know her schedule even better than she would.”

“I don’t want to talk about—”

“Get into a fight? Maybe she wants to have kids and you just aren’t ready. I can see the problem, I mean, that’s twice as many people to keep 24 hour surveillance on. You might start to get tired, even being the machine that you are.”

Heero’s tone was a warning. “Maxwell. . .”

Duo’s eyes lit up as a new mischief occurred to him. “I know! Trouble in the bedroom! Look, they don’t call me ‘The Cassinova of the Colonies’ for nothing. If you need a few pointurgh.” The last word was smothered as Heero pinned Duo’s neck to the wall of the elevator, catching a humorous look of mock pain from the young man. With a ding their destination was announced, and Heero released Duo who loudly complained about how he had nearly been killed and that Heero was so insensitive and mean. 

“Have a great time tonight, buddy.” Duo smiled and waved as he bounced his way to his car. The incident in the elevator had been his fault for provoking the silent man, and there were no hard feelings. Duo simply liked getting a rise out of people, when it came down to it. “I hope that whatever is bothering you smoothes over. Night!”

Despite himself, Heero still found his hand waving of its own volition to the braided idiot. Even though he would never admit it out loud unless it was really necessary, Duo was a valued friend. However, there were limits to how much he could discuss even with his friends and what disturbed him about tonight was just such a forbidden topic. Duo had hit it nearly squarely: his sex life.

Rather more accurately, it was the lack of a sex life.

It was not that he had gone impotent. Nothing of the sort. Somehow it had become more of a matter of bad timing consistently for more than a month and a half. At first, Relena had been in the middle of a series of talks and she would come home too tired. Later, Heero found himself working a lot of late nights investigating some recent suspicious activity that resulted in needing to fire one of the night janitors. Their schedules had clashed so badly that they had tried to schedule a romantic evening about two weeks ago just for them to assure that they would have time together. 

Right in the middle of slowly and deliberately undressing his more than ready wife, her private line began to ring and even though she let it ring through once the persistent caller kept trying every couple minutes until the mood had been ruined pretty thoroughly. It had turned out to be Relena’s pregnant sister-in-law Lucretia who had felt some sort of acute anxiety about her pregnancy that Milliardo simply could not calm her about. After comforting her sister for forty minutes, Relena had not been in any mood to continue and Heero went to sleep that night somewhat frustrated and cursing Zechs for not being able to take care of his own troubles.

But no problems like that would dare surface tonight. He had planned it all out perfectly. Relena had said she didn’t want to make a big deal out of the anniversary, so Heero had made dinner reservations at her favorite restaurant for just the two of them, and arranged to have a romantic setting prepared at the house while they were gone. After polling various reliable and confidential sources as well as consulting some information in magazines and on the web about what would construe a romantic setting, he had obtained rose petals and candles as well as chocolate and some other dessert toppings. He hoped he had prepared enough. He also planned on unplugging all the phones.

It would be perfect. It had to be perfect. If it wasn’t perfect, then someone was going to pay dearly. 

Heero pulled in front of the house and walked in to find his clothes pressed and ready where he had left them on the hanger in the closet. As he dressed he thought to himself that at least they had had the foresight to choose the first day of summer to get married, and therefore it minimized the possibility of bad weather ruining his plans. Soon enough Relena would get back from her visit with Zech’s wife, and then everything would be under way. He was absolutely sure that nothing could go wrong.

Nothing.

There was a soft knock, and Heero gave the tie around his neck one last jerk before he answered the door to the bedroom. It was a somewhat fearful looking maid. She held out a phone with a quiver.

“It’s Mrs. Yuy.” Once Heero grabbed it the girl took off down the hall. Someday he would figure out why the staff was so afraid of him. Really, you disable three armed felons attempting to rob the house with nothing but a candlestick and suddenly everyone walks on eggshells. It was months ago.

“Heero?” Relena’s voice made him smile to himself, a secretive a vulnerable expression, since there was no one to see it.

“Relena. Where are you?”

“I’m still with Lu. Just go ahead and I’ll meet you at the restaurant. Don’t worry, I’ll be there on time. It’s just quicker if I meet you there. You don’t mind do you?” 

Heero grunted noncommittally. 

“I’ll take that as a no. See you soon.” 

He pressed the button on the phone and tried not to let this get to him. It was only one small snag, in that he didn’t get to gallantly escort her into the restaurant, as per his understanding of what his job should be if he were to do this correctly. There would be no other problems. Tonight was still going to be perfect.

*  
*  
*

“Heero, I’m so sorry I’m late. Things got a little difficult with Lu and I had a hard time getting away. She’s so nervous.” Relena gave Heero a funny look as he rose when she approached the table. What was he doing? “Are you going somewhere?”

It had taken a moment, but he had recalled that this was part of traditionally polite behavior, but sadly Relena was acting strangely to it. 

“No.” They were in a booth, facing a steep cliff and the ocean beyond a glass wall. With no opportunity to do something like pull out a chair for her, he simply waited until she took her seat and then he joined her.

“This is nice, thank you.” She accepted a menu, and Heero ordered a bottle of champagne as the waiter left them to think of what they would like for dinner. 

“I think I like this much better than the big party we had last year. Remember that?”

“I remember shoving Maxwell into a cab after he threw up on my shoes.”

“Don’t you remember anything good about that night?” Relena tried to hold back laughter at the picture she had in her head of Duo listing from side to side while doing a bad drunken karaoke rendition of ‘Stayin Alive’ by the Beegees (with dance interlude). For a moment, her solemn husband considered the question.

“We danced. I like dancing with you.” 

As memories of the first time they dance flitted like a specter at the back of her mind’s eye, Relena’s eyes went wide, and for a moment she thought about kissing him. Then again she knew how he got about displays of affection in public even if no one could really see them in this booth. No one would ever believe her if she had said that Heero was unknowingly romantic.

The champagne arrived and they toasted to two wonderful years and many more to come. Heero asked about her visit to Lucretia, and as Relena poured out the story she didn’t really notice that her glass was filled time and time again until the champagne was gone and the world was spinning just a little bit. Maybe it would be good to have some food soon. She vocalized her worry.

“The waiter was here five minutes ago. You ordered salmon. I ordered steak.” The first phase of his operation had gone just as he had wanted. Relena was tipsy but not full on drunk. Mostly he just wanted to relax her, (that had been Duo’s suggestion.) Relena had a hard time letting go of the stresses of the week, and as she had had more to drink he watched her posture loosen and her laughs come more readily. A desirable result.

“I must be getting absent minded.”

“You’ll feel better after some food.”

“You think? I have had a lot to drink, and I didn’t have any lunch today.” She examined her nails. When was the last time she had had them done? Maybe she should have had them done for today, but she had just gotten so busy and then she had to go see Lu. . . oh yes, Heero. They were going to eat dinner. Had she ordered already?

Heero wondered if maybe he had miscalculated. She seemed far more than just ‘relaxed’. With hope, the soup would arrive soon.

It occurred to Relena that she wasn’t particularly hungry. What seemed far more important was that Heero looked extraordinarily handsome tonight and it had been so very long since she had the time to just admire him. She caught his attention and picked up his tie, running it through her hands and watching it fall against his chest. It was so silky and soft, somewhat like skin. Relena gave him a fond look, but he seemed more intent on the waiter who was bringing them soup. She tried to pull herself together, but as soon as she had said thank you, she found that the soup held little interest compared to Heero. While he picked up his spoon, Relena reached a hand over and began to stroke his thigh. She listed back and forth a little, maintaining balance only with difficulty.

With a clink of steel on ceramic, the spoon fell into the soup as Heero’s fingers failed him a moment.

“What are you doing Relena?”

“No one can see, don’t worry.” He looked at her with a level stare, not his intimidating stare, just a dubious one. “Go ahead eat your soup. I’ll stop if you insist.”

The problem was it felt quite nice, and he didn’t feel like making her stop. With a purposefully steady hand he picked up his spoon again. It was a good thing he didn’t have to get up any time soon. Relena had removed her hand, and he was somewhat relieved since her actions were almost convincing him to get dinner to go, or just skip it altogether.

No. They had to have dinner. It was part of the plan and there had already been enough snags in his scheduling.

“Relena!” Heero tried to prop up his wife, who was smiling dreamily and sliding down beneath the table in a boneless manner. She gave a charming laugh at his attempts but did little to help him. After a brief and comical struggle, Heero realized it would be easier if he just let her fall and then wait for her to remember she had bones in her legs.

“Sorry Heero.” The accompanying laugh under the table made her apology insincere. “I’ll be up in a second or two, I promise.” There was a pause and a gurgle of delight. “The floor’s so very clean!”

It was just one thing after another. Though Heero blamed himself for this since it was his fault for giving her too much champagne. It was somewhat mind boggling, however, since he had thought Relena had a higher alcohol tolerance than. . .

He went still, thought process derailed, and looked from side to side as if monitoring for an attack. Once he was reasonably sure there was no one about to come their way, judging from reflections he noted in the window, he lifted up the tablecloth from his lap only to confront the smiling face of his wife.

“I just want to rest my head in your lap a moment. I feel so dizzy, and I don’t think I want to get up quite yet.”

What could he do but drop the tablecloth and hope that it took a long time to cook his stake?

Relena laid her head down, a mischievous smile on her face. It had only been part of the truth. There were additional reasons she had repositioned herself. The main one had to do with the fact that she was feeling rather amorous, and the idea of torturing Heero like this when he was so constrained to resist was too tempting. All it took was the tilt of the axis of her head as she rested on his lap. 

She started by nuzzling her nose gently into an area slightly left to where the zipper lay. When her ears took in another drop of the spoon against the bowl, Relena knew she was on the right track. Her nose mapped the creases of his pants, outlining everything that rested just below the fabric and once she was reasonable sure she knew where what she really wanted was located, she placed her mouth on it and began to slowly knead in a careful manner. It was gratifying to feel the way he grew hard almost instantly in response to her ministrations.

As Relena enjoyed herself under the table, Heero increasingly began to panic. His hands clutched the tablecloth, and there was a twitch that he couldn’t stop around his eye. The way she was moving over him, and in particular the warmth of her breath as it permeated the fabric over his erection, was going to drive him mad. Couldn’t she wait until they got home for this? At this rate he might not last until they got home either. What of his plan?

Since the cosmos apparently was out to get him, at that moment he saw the waiter approach in the glass of the window and knew there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

“May I take your dishes, sir?”

“Yes, anything.” Heero barked out the words and tried to hold himself still. Only the twitch of his eye refused to come under his command. . . and of course the activity under the table which he couldn’t have stopped even if he wanted to at this point.

“Would you like. . .”

“No.”

“I could bring you some. . .”

“No!”

“Perhaps when the lady returns. . .”

Heero, at a loss to make himself any clearer, shot the glare that had made stronger men than this apparently suicidal waiter tremble. Finally getting the message, he left Heero to his own business. As the area became clear he made a move and Relena was in the process of taking down Heero’s zipper when he looked under the table again.

“Stop. Up. Now. No more.” He wanted very much more, but this was simply neither the right time nor an acceptable place.

Relena gave a cute pout as the table cloth fell, and she shimmied her way back into her seat. She fixed her hair into the semblance of order again as Heero avoided eye contact. The soup was cold, as she began to eat, but it was still good. After that and a little bread, she felt less disoriented and spacey, but no less daring. There was something about the prospect of being caught that added a catch to her breathing and kept her heart-rate sped up. The way Heero acted was also too careful to be natural, and she knew she could get what she wanted if she just pushed a little harder at his crumbling resolve. 

Even though he was in the middle on trying to get his body under control, Heero didn’t miss the way Relena was wiggling. If anything, he was hyper aware of everything she did, just like everything else around him. What was she thinking? Once he was decently sure he was able to without giving anything away, he looked at her.

“What was that just now?”

“What was what?” 

“The. . . wiggling?”

“Oh that, I was just getting more comfortable.”

Inside, tension was slowly uncoiling again as Relena’s behavior became much more normal. Her laughter was still a little too loud as she related some anecdote of the day that Lucretia had told her when Relena was getting ready for dinner, but she seemed less drunk now. Now that the sexualized behavior wasn’t as blatant didn’t mean he had escaped danger. He found himself much too aware of the way her breasts strained against her strapless dress as she laughed, and the little ways she was still touching him casually. Her hand brushed his arm again as her fingers wound around his wrist, pulling his hand up to her face. At the last second, she tilted his watch towards her with her free hand.

“I just wanted to see the time. When did we order? It has been quite a while.” Then, slowly, deliberately, and without losing eye contact, Relena lowered Heero’s hand just a bit and drew his index finger into her mouth.

Immediately, Heero pulled back his hand but knocked over a glass of water in his haste. Reflexively, he righted it, but the water had already spilled out across the table and onto both of their laps. For some reason, Relena didn’t look at all displeased, but Heero was furious.

Damn his perfect dinner and perfect plan. Now that he had an alternative desire, nothing was going to stop him.

He grabbed Relena’s hand, pulling her from the booth, and the two of them nearly collided with the waiter who held a tray carrying their dinners. Heero only gave him the slightest glance.

“Box them up and put the check on the table.” If the waiter hadn’t been carrying food in both hands, he would have saluted Heero because his tone carried over like a military order. Relena was pulled, but not in the direction of the parking lot, as she had been halfway expecting, but towards the back of the restaurant. They reached the bathrooms, and Heero pulled them both into the ladies’ room. After closing and firmly locking the door, he pushed Relena against the far wall and kissed her with more force than he usually allowed himself to use on her.

Little details in the room became very important for a moment to Relena before her mind melted into the kiss: the mirror and the sink with little soaps and perfumes in a tray, the paper towel dispenser with a broken piece hanging from it, the obligatory ‘employees must wash hands’ sign with regulations below it. . . and then Heero filling the rest of her vision. She watched him, as he pulled away, shed his coat onto the floor, and his belt as well with vicious thrashing. Then, before he did anything else, he attacked her with another kiss, bruising and demanding.

“Did you plan this?” he growled next to her lips as she finally got to unzip his pants and draw him out. He shuddered at her touch and his hands slid up her thighs, bunching up the skirts of her layered dress. She could feel his fingers moving up, seeking to hook into the scrap of fabric that would dare to separate them.

“Spur of the moment decision. I assume my reputation for patience will be shot along with my reputation in general.” A feline smile spread across her face as Heero noted with a groan that she in fact wore no underwear.

“ ‘Getting more comfortable. . .’ ” he mumbled to himself.

“Is that a complaint?”

“No.”

“Good.”

There was no pause and no more conversation as Heero aligned himself and drove into her pliant body. Relena wrapped a leg around his waist, and her back flattened further against the wall with every thrust. The material of her dress was put under a little bit of a pull each time her back met the wall and finally it could no longer resist, spilling her breasts out of the strapless top.

His eyes dark and shining with lust, Heero paused a moment from the relentless rhythm he had been maintaining to look at Relena: eyes half closed, lips parted with a pink smear of lipstick below them, hair wild with some of it hanging over her breasts and brushing a puckered nipple. With some care, he caught her eyes and cupped one of her breasts with his hand while beginning the movement inside of her again, this time with a little more consideration.

Relena moaned loudly and lolled her head to one side, breathing heavily in and out of her mouth. It felt like Heero had slowed down for her sake, but she didn’t want that sort of thoughtfulness at the moment. To get her message across she grabbed his backside roughly and urged him to go faster and harder like at the start; it took very little encouragement to bring the pace back up. They would make love later; right now she wanted sex.

It had been far too long, and Heero marveled that they had lasted as long as they did without it. Relena was so warm and tight as her muscles flexed around him below and her nails dug painfully into his back above. Those sharp tips were scoring grooves into his back through his shirt and the pleasure and pain mixed and confused themselves to his nerve endings. Slowly, he began to lose control of the moment and his pleasure over watching Relena’s abandon in his arms was dominated as he was swept up in sensation.

She was so warm and wet, and as he squeezed her breast with a rough hand she gave a groan and flexed her inner muscles in a way that convinced Heero yet again that she was perfection. There was no way to catch up with her, so he would join her in the only way he knew how. Sweat lubricated their skin, making them glow in the harsh fluorescent light of the small room. The mirror was beginning to look like it was gathering some steam at a corner, as Relena’s eyes focused with a gasp at a particularly deep thrust.

Vaguely aware she was saying something, anything, everything, Relena bit down on her lip and held on as she felt all her limbs stiffen and tense. It was as if her entire body was attempting to lock at once, but she fought it as she frantically held on to Heero to guide her through to the end. She felt him fill her and withdraw, and realized she didn’t want him to leave. Her pulse pounded in her ears and her leg stiffened more as she attempted to drive his erection to her core and keep him there. 

They fought their war briefly. Relena couldn’t get what she wanted until she surrendered and when her climax came she curled forward around Heero as if she could pull him in any further. The gasps she gave next to his ear were somehow provocative, and as her body shook and pulsed he found his own release as he drove into her slick channel once more. In response, her body convulsed a little and went still, satiated after months of waiting. 

When they resumed breathing, in the dim light of the bathroom, it was heavy on Relena’s part while Heero regulated his immediately. It took a moment for the two of them to resume contact with reality.

When Relena put her other leg down, after she felt like she was no longer made from jelly, she blinked once or twice in an overly self-aware manner. It wasn’t a particularly romantic encounter, to be sure, but it had been raw and appealing in its own way. Speaking of raw, she felt her lower lip throb. She moved away from Heero, a little sad at feeling him withdraw from inside of her, who began to pick up his clothes and pull himself back together, and looked in the mirror.

What a terrible fright she looked! Her hair was matted, her makeup smeared, sweat made her skin glisten, and she needed to replace her breasts into the top of her dress again. After a little running water and combing down most of the trouble with her fingers, she looked decent again, except for her lips. At some point she had bitten down through her bottom lip while they were. . . in the midst of things. It was bleeding a bit. She dabbed at it with a paper towel.

“Now people will think I was hitting you.” Heero stroked her arm, desiring to maintain contact after being so close and intimate previously. He didn’t want to let her go.

“I don’t know if that’s better or worse than if they knew the truth.”

“Relena. . .”

“Don’t be silly, no one would ever accuse you of harming me. That’s ridiculous.”

Heero looked agitated as Relena continued to dab at her lip.

“I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry for, Heero?”

“This was going to be the perfect night, and I just messed everything up. It was a good plan, and I terminated it too prematurely.”

Relena covered her eyes with her hand a moment as if searching for strength, using one hand lean against the sink.

“You’re just too cute for words sometimes. I don’t think you messed anything up at all. Tonight has been perfect, if you just look at it from a different angle. It’s also not over. I will decide at the end if you ruined anything.”

Arms encircled her from behind, and their eyes met in the mirror as both tried to tell the other without words exactly what they were feeling. And it was only the second anniversary. This could only get better.

Then a loud knock shattered their peace.

“Excuse me, but you’ve been in there for a long time.” An annoyed high pitched female voice demanded with a jiggle of the handle of the door.

“We’ll be right out!”

“We. . .?”

Putting on her most charismatic smile, Relena opened the door and she and Heero walked out with as much dignity as they could muster. The middle aged woman gave them a disapproving glare. They almost got past without comment, but at the last moment the woman spoke.

“It’s highly irregular for a man to use the ladies’ room.” 

“He’s my bodyguard.”

“Most bodyguards give their charges some measure of privacy.” 

Instead of letting Relena handle this, Heero stepped forward to tower over the now cowering matron. “I’ll always be by Relena’s side. Always. Have a problem with that?” 

With nothing to say as a retort the woman retreated into the bathroom, nearly slamming the door behind her. Relena laughed softly and linked her arm in Heero’s as they went to go get their boxed up food and pay the check. The staff seemed to think they had erred somehow, and it took some quick excuses to reassure them that there was nothing wrong with the service or the food.

As Heero and Relena stepped next to the car, Relena started and dropped her box of food. Even while carrying his own food, Heero managed to catch the box of salmon before it hit the pavement.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh Heero!”

Relena’s face was bright red and she looked absolutely shocked.

“What?”

“I left something behind.” 

“Then go back and get it.”

“I can’t. It’s too embarrassing.”

“Why? What did you forget?”

She leaned over and whispered into his ear.

“My panties.”


End file.
